Laughter and Sadness

I thought that the news about Robin Williams was a joke. I wish it had been a joke. I was with friends when I heard, and now, hours later, I'm only just now starting to process this. I'm going to attempt to make my discombobulated thoughts somewhat cohesive. 

I think we have a tendency to look at people we know to be particularly funny as happy all the time and forget that they can be much deeper and also can be carrying heavy burdens. Laughter can be medicine for those who give it as well, I think. To be immensely sad but make someone else feel a little piece of joy that turns to laughter, well that's a beautiful thing. Few things in life are greater than watching others smile. To be able to give that is such a gift for the giver, and laughter truly is contagious. Some of the funniest people I know are also some of the most thoughtful and kind. I pretty recently had a meaningful conversation with a friend of mine whom I generally consider a jokester (I have spent very little actual time with him), and was kind of surprised by our conversation. It's so easy to forget how complex people are. No one is one dimensional. And Robin showed us that. He had some pretty fantastic, genuine, and multi-faceted roles. This is a time to remember that it is important to think about everyone you come across as a deeply intricate human.  

I cannot speak to what it feels like to be bipolar, though one of my good friends was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II so I've been learning a little bit more about it. I do, however, know what it is to deal with depression. In case anyone is new around here and wants to hear my story (or at least what I've told of it so far), I'll leave that here. A huge, huge number of people suffer from depression and it's devastating, but I'm very much of the mindset that it needs to be talked about, that stories need to be shared. I want so desperately to believe it can be beaten in myself and in everyone else, but the truth is, sometimes the chemicals that lie to your brain about who you are and why you're here or why you shouldn't be are just too strong. This is mental illness. People who take their own lives are often called selfish, and that simply is not the case. You wouldn't call someone who dies of a physical illness selfish, and it should not be applied to mental illness either. My mom often says, "It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem." I suppose there are some people who commit suicide due to mere problems with their lives, but it's so much more than that for people who have clinical depression, which is not a temporary problem. You can feel better, but you're never really better. I can't pretend to completely understand, as I've been close to taking my life, but have never actually attempted it. I think we can all try to have empathy, though, and work on erasing our stigmas about mental illness. 

If you ever, ever, ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. If you don't know me or you barely know me, that is okay. I can't guarantee I will respond perfectly, but I can empathize and listen. If you don't have any other way of contacting me, my email is chelseariffic@gmail.com

Robin Williams, thank you for all you've done through the many talents you were given, including a big heart.

Listening to: Aladdin soundtrack