I've donated my hair three times in my life, meaning I've had 8+ inches of hair removed from my head on 3 separate occasions. Each time I've done this, I've been told that boys don't like girls with short hair, or that they like girls with long hair. I think every female has been fed this lie at least once in her life. I recently chopped off my hair again (though I couldn't donate it due to bleach and things) and have been inspired to talk about this vicious statement that most of us have been hearing for years.
Here are three reasons we shouldn't tell girls that boys won't like them if they cut their hair short:
1. It is not a true statement. Any time you make a generalisation that half the population doesn't like a certain thing, there is an astronomical chance that you are wrong. Do all girls look for the same things in guys? Heck no. And not all guys like the same things on girls. People are complex and diverse and we cannot degrade them by assuming we know their preferences before we even talk to them. Yes, there will be men who prefer women to have long, blonde hair, but there are also men who not only like short hair, but who PREFER it. Crazy? No, it's actually not. People have always had different tastes, this isn't news. I don't know when we decided it was okay to instill this idea that all of any group of people do or do not like a certain thing, but I'm fairly certain it has never been true. ANY statement that starts with "Boys don't like..." is something you should disregard. (And men, you bet you can disregard those "Girls don't like..." statements.)
2. We are placing far too much value on exterior beauty. When you tell a girl not to cut her hair short, you are teaching her to find her sense of self in her appearance and it is arguably one of the most harmful lessons to give. If a girl is conventionally less attractive with short hair, WHO CARES? We have to be less shallow than that. Most girls are told things like this for the first time around puberty. Puberty is confusing and gross and terrible and we are making it so much harder than it needs to be when we continually enforce standards of what is beautiful and feminine on girls. Telling girls they need to be beautiful on the outside and that they need to do certain things to maintain that beauty will later lead to vanity issues or, more likely, self-esteem issues. We should be spending our time with young women with the intent to help them develop a strong sense of who they are as people, guiding them in ways that are edifying and productive, not concerning ourselves with things that will have no bearing on who they are as human beings. We are so much more than purely ornamental.
3. We are teaching girls that their life should revolve around pleasing men. Telling girls to make every little decision based on what they think will be pleasing to the opposite sex is not only pointless due to my first point, but it is so incredibly degrading to who we are as people. Ladies, your number one goal in life has to be more than finding and pleasing a husband. And you know what? If a man doesn't like you based on the length of your hair, he is not worth your time. We have to stop telling girls that their purpose lies in another person. Your parents and grandparents will more than likely put pressure on you to get married, but there is no person on this earth who can make you whole. If you spend your whole life single, that is okay. Many people live beautiful, fulfilling lives without ever getting married. There is so much love to be found among family and friends. Romance may improve your life, but it does not make or break it. Rather than teaching girls dependence on other people, we should be teaching them skills they will need as they grow into adulthood so that they can flourish on their own.
The solution here is really simple: stop making these generalisations about boys OR girls. They are so harmful and counterproductive. You are so much more than what you appear, so much more than the shallow judgments of those who surround you. THAT is the sentiment we should be spreading like wildfire.
