Have you ever broken something and tried to put it back together but you're missing some pieces and it's just never quite the same? I've talked a lot about how I've gone through a period of mourning for who I used to be and how I've been trying to build a new sense of self, but I sort of feel like I've discovered one of those pieces I thought I'd lost.
The beauty of being a broken human is that you get to pick the pieces you keep and the pieces you discard. Sometimes you lose things for a little while, but if you look hard enough, work hard enough, you'll find what you're looking for. Finding those missing parts is one of the most magical experiences I have come to know.
I just finished a book in two days, The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender by Leslye Walton. I have such a feeling of elation that I want to put into words but I'm not sure I can. Reading has been a love of mine since childhood, though we've had a very on again off again relationship. For quite some time now, I've had a very difficult time focusing on reading. I have had a very hard time reading more than a chapter in a sitting, and even that has often been difficult. I've read a bit, and have found some enjoyment in reading, but this is the first time I have felt deep and passionate love in a long time. It feels incredible. It's like tasting your favorite food after years of being denied anything but the scent of it. I feel like pieces of my heart I forgot I had have opened up, screaming to be brought to the surface.
Feeling big and loving books deeply is so me and I love being me.
