Friend Love

Exactly a month ago, my best friend, Ashleigh, flew from Oakland to Jacksonville in order to drive from Jacksonville, FL to Petaluma/Rohnert Park, CA with me. After several difficult, lonely months, and a difficult week of (not) packing and lots of panicking, having my best friend fly across the country was exactly what I needed. I'm still so grateful for it that I'm crying as I write this. That someone loves me enough to buy a plane ticket in order to sit in a car for 7-10 hours a day with me for a week is sort of more than I can fathom. I'm tremendously thankful for her love and support always.

Ashleigh and I have a very strange relationship. She's one of very few people I can spend days at a time with and not get sick of her. (That might sound awful, but I'm terribly introverted, which means I rely on a lot of alone time to recharge.) When we are together, I can say exactly what I'm thinking all the time. I'm like J.D. from Scrubs, but out loud. I'm myself around all my friends, otherwise I don't consider them friends, but I think we all sort of censor ourselves around most people. Having a filter is good (not that I have much of one ever), but I think it's important to have people in our lives with whom we can share our unfiltered thoughts. She's always willing to go on adventures with me, even if she knows nothing about them. In fact, when she got to Florida, she had apparently missed my text with our itinerary: she had no idea what we were doing or where we were going besides, like, Disneyland. She didn't seem to mind. Furthermore, at midnight, we decided to wake up at 5 AM to repeat one of our first adventures together and drive 2 1/2 hours each way to EPCOT the day before hitting the road to drive through the entire south part of the United States. We don't agree all the time (I mean, seriously, who doesn't like bacon?) but we don't fight with each other. Like, we've never had a single serious argument in our 5 years of knowing each other (except she did used to think I hated her lololol). 

Due to our somewhat unconventional relationship and the fact that we openly say sappy things to each other, (okay, I say most of the sappy, nostalgic things), people often refer to us as a couple. This doesn't really bother me, it's mostly in good fun and I make jokes about it almost every day, but it does point to a problem with the world we live in: Friendships are undervalued. Can't two people love on each other and be there for each other as simply two people who connect on a platonic level?

Movies, songs, novels, the media, our family, our friends, seemingly every force around us perpetuates this idea that we are not "whole" without someone to love romantically. Yes, romantic love is great, but it is not THE thing that will make your life fantastic. Friend love is something that should be sought after and celebrated, not degraded by this idea that romantic love is far superior. Friends are there to support you and laugh with you. They point out when you need a haircut. They tell you whether or not you should buy that dress you've had your eye on. Friends make tea for you and tell you when you're being an idiot. Friends wait hours in line with you to see movies at midnight or get that exclusive beer that's only available for two weeks. Friends text you when you're crying and remind you that you are someone worthwhile, that you are a Child of God. They are those wonderful people who enhance your life in unexpected ways, and frankly the ways they put up with us sometimes is nothing short of miraculous.

You don't need to fall in love to have your life touched by people in amazing ways. If you open yourself up to other people, they will fill you with great joy. There's this great line in Regina Spektor's "Firewood" that says, "Love what you have and you'll have more love." We're a culture that is always wanting more and more and it's gluttonous. You may be lonely sometimes, but I'm guessing, no matter who you are, there is SOMEONE who loves you. Love that. Love them. Let that be enough.

To all my other friends: I love you guys. I appreciate your support. You are wonderful people and I'm lucky to have you in my life.