Walking Contradiction

I live somewhere between reckless optimism and hopeless pessimism.
Somewhere between dreamer and realist.
Somewhere between empathy and apathy.
Somewhere between self-indulgent and self-loathing.
Somewhere between endlessly introverted and deeply lonely.
Somewhere between spotaneous adventurer and anxious planner.
Somewhere between lover of flaws and perfectionist.
Somewhere between loving deeply and building thick walls.
Somewhere between forever determined and easily discouraged.
Somewhere between tough and hypersensitive.
Somewhere between addicted to truth and avoiding reality.
Somewhere between feeling everything and feeling nothing.
Somewhere between hurting and healing.
Somewhere between joy and fear.
Somewhere between crazy and human.
I am a walking contradiction, a stranger even to myself, looking for a path to balance.